The Snob Questionnaire

I found this snob questionnaire on BookTube, where I like to lurk. Yes, lurk, because I will never have the b-- the nerve to do my own videos. Even if I were talking about books! Even if I do sound just like Sarah Vowell! (I've been told) No, just no. Shudder.

But I do like these questions, though!  I'm always grappling with my own snobbish tendencies and I have an Inner Bookworm Snob who will never be happy until pillow shams are replaced with Henry James novels. So here we go:

1. ADAPTATION SNOB: Do you always read the book before you see the movie?

No, not always. Usually. It's about a 70%-30% thing with me. Examples of movies I saw first include Fight Club, The Green Mile, and The Talented Mr. Ripley.

2. FORMAT SNOB: You can only choose one format in which to read books for the rest of your life. Which do you choose: physical books, ebooks, or audiobooks? 

I enjoy all the formats, but physical pleases me the most of all. I love the way the actual book feels in my hand, (even the chunky mass market paperbacks) I like being able to turn back and forth quickly if I need to re-familiarize myself about a character's relation to other characters or a salient plot point, I enjoy seeing my progress measured by the bookmark, and oh yes! Bookmarks!

3. SHIP SNOB: Would you date or marry a non-reader?

Hell no! My past relationships have mostly been dumpster fires of varying degree, but these gentle people possessed and enjoyed some sort of personal library.

4. GENRE SNOB: You have to ditch one genre -- never to be read again for the rest of your life. Which one do you ditch?

I could live with seeing science fiction in my rearview mirror.

5. UBER GENRE SNOB: You can only choose to read from one genre for the rest of your life. Which one do you choose?

Now I'm really starting to chafe from the confines of this list! I'm pretty sure I would choose biography/memoir, but I also love novels. In fact, the book in my high-beam TBR headlights right now is The Mirror and The Light by Hilary Mantel. But if I truly have to get all Quarterflash and harden my heart, biography/memoir wins.

6. COMMUNITY SNOB: Which genre do you think receives the most snobbery from the bookish community?

I'm guessing that romance doesn't get a lot of respect because the snobbery is rooted in misogyny. Although I'm not a big fan, I hope this is changing.

7. SNOBBERY RECIPIENT: Have you ever been snubbed for something that you have been reading, or for reading in general?

Back in the 1980s, I expressed my enthusiasm and admiration for Shiloh and Other Stories by Bobbie Ann Mason, and was told by an older male in my book group that the book was crap, it had no redeeming message and the characterization was horrible. I weakly responded that the book felt real. The person doubled down on his original message, and I went "But...but --" before bursting into tears. The gentleman quit the book group in a huff a few months later because we wouldn't pick the book of his choosing, which was The Sunlight Dialogues by John Gardner. To this day, I frown at it when I see it on some library shelf. Sometimes I add a derisive sniff to the frown.

As for the second half of the question, I have gotten the withering "nose in a book" comment more than I care to remember. Damn right it's in a book! Where's your nose???

Well, that was fun. What's your SQ? What's your forever genre?

Angry At You...And Your Books, Too???

I heard something both intriguing and disturbing this week: An acquaintance of mine (I'll call her 'Reedy'; she's wonderfully, quirkily bookwormy) and I got together. Over coffee, we were having a lively conversation about books we'd recently read, books on our wishlist and books we were looking forward to coming out next year. We were both especially Squeeeeee! about The Mirror and the Light, the final book in the Wolf Hall trilogy by Hilary Mantel.

I told Reedy about finding some sort of orangey-red sauce in my recently library read, Born Round by Frank Bruni, and how I would ordinarily be a little bit eww, but under the circumstances, it seemed forgivable. She asked if I smelled the page to try and figure out what the previous reader had been eating. Uh, no. She said she always does that. Except when she sees Cheeto fingerprints, which is all the evidence you really need.

The conversation flowed on with the coffee, and I mentioned wanting to read City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert and The Body by Bill Bryson (I got the latter for my birthday last week).

Reedy made a disgusted face. "I'm not going to read either one of those. I wouldn't read them if you paid me."

"Why not?"

"My cousin gave them to me. And I'm mad at her."

Well. Relatives can be all over the board, but if they're generous with books, you can overlook a few things! Can't you? I know I could.

"Reedy, you can't be mad at the books. They didn't do anything."

"I don't care. They sat there on the shelves, just glaring out at me and I kept getting more and more repulsed when I looked at them. I couldn't even stand them in the house. I felt like throwing up."

I didn't like the sudden and ominous appearance of past tense verbs. I tried to ignore them: "Bring the books to me. I don't know your cousin."

"I don't have them anymore," said Reedy.

"Oh my God." I was having terrible visions. "Reedy, you didn't throw them away, did you?"

"Of course not. I'm not crazy. I donated them to the Salvation Army. But there are copies in every fucking bookstore around here. I see them everywhere I go. Even Walmart. Ugh."

I thought I was going to cry, or something next-door to it. "I wish you'd brought them to me. I would have even given you some money for them."

"I don't care. I did you a favor. Those books had her nasty mojo all over them."

So, anyway. I'm torn between annoyed at missing out on free new books and genuine fascination at this quirky(?) behavior. I don't understand, and I promise that if I'm ever mad at you, I may be snarling with contempt, but for your books, there'll be nothing but the utmost tenderness in my heart.

Reading A Mystery

CanadaBoy's mother is so nice! She sent a box of books to CanadaBoy, and she included one for me. It's called Blow Fly. The author is Patricia Cornwell.

Slight problem: I really don't like mysteries very much. They're too plot-driven. When I'm reading fiction, I like it to be more character-driven. But I've heard great things about Patricia Cornwall and her creation, forensic scientist Dr. Kay Scarpetta. My interest is piqued. I'd like to give this mystery a try.

I'm worried that I'll have it at the back of my mind all the time that I'm reading ewww! a mystery, so I'm making plans to protect my enjoyment of the book against the twisted workings of my bookwormy mind. Since I really enjoy true crime (like Ann Rule's books for example) and other nonfiction, I'm going to go into Blow Fly with the idea that Dr. Kay Scarpetta is a real person, and that the case in this book is a real one.

This is a new and untested reading strategy for me, but it should work. Wish me luck! I'll report back when I've completed Blow Fly.

Feeling Naked and Forlorn

I've taken some things over to my new apartment. I can't move in for 3 more weeks (well, 2 weeks and 6 days, but who's counting?) ; the reason is because it's a brand-new building and the heating system won't be done till the end of February.

So what did I take? Clothes, shoes, purses. Some family pictures. I also took some books over:

Amish Society (4th Edition) by John Hostetler
Summer by Edith Wharton
A Tree Grows In Brooklyn by Betty Smith
Sickened by Julie Gregory
Choke by Chuck Palahniuk

I have a desk that has a little one-row bookshelf built in, so I don't have to either buy (or dumpster-dive) a bookshelf for a few weeks.

I purposely left half of my books behind for the remainder of my stay in Shanghai's apartment. I don't know why; I really don't need them, since Shanghai has plenty to read. (I'm currently enjoying her copy of The Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan.) All I could think as I was stuffing books in my backpack for the trip to the new apartment was this: "I need some of my books here. I'll feel naked without my books." (In my mind, I was pronouncing 'naked' as 'nekkid', which to me, is even more naked than nay-ked.)

Here are the books that I kept here with me:
Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Teaching In Action (an ESL guide to troubleshooting in classrooms)
The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn

Intellectually, I know that I can live for 2 weeks and 6 days without those other books that are over in the apartment, but only 24 hours after leaving them there, I feel a vague uneasiness that could easily mushroom into queasiness.

"Do you think they'll be OK over there by themselves?" I asked Shanghai.

"What?"

"My books, in the apartment."

"Oh sure," said Shanghai. "They won't be lonesome; they've got each other for company. But," she added, "you might have to clean up after the party."